THE UNHOLY : Tuesday 20th April 2021.

'THE UNHOLY' is an M Rated American supernatural horror film which I saw at my local multiplex earlier this week. Written for the screen, Co-Produced, and Directed by Evan Spiliotopoulos in his film making debut, this is based on the 1983 novel 'Shrine' by the acclaimed British horror author James Herbert. Released in the US earlier this month, the film has so far grossed US$11M off the back of a US$10M production budget and has generated mixed Reviews so far. Sam Raimi Co-Produces here.

The films opening sequence is set in 1845 with the execution of a woman for witchcraft. She is hoisted up an old oak tree, an iron mask is nailed to her face and she is burned alive, while a Priest binds her body inside the chained up body of a clay doll. Fast forward to the present day and disgraced albeit very successful former journalist and skeptic Gerry Fenn (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) works for a lowly publication reporting on strange and mysterious stories. We join him as he drives into Banfield, Massachusetts to meet with a local farmer claiming that his prized cow has been allegedly mutilated by some otherworldly force. It turns out to be nothing more that a teenage prank. However, as Fenn prepares to leave, under that same old oak tree as was seen in the opening sequence, he notices something glistening in the bright sunlight. Venturing over to investigate further, partially buried under the soil he uncovers the same doll, wrapped in chains with a date stamp - the 31st February 1845. The farmer siddles up and takes a look over Fenn's shoulder and notices that its just another corn doll that are a common occurrence in these parts and they are forever cropping up in the fields. But this one is different. Fenn crushes its head beneath his boot, not knowing that in so doing he has unintentionally set the woman's spirit free. 

When driving out of Banfield later that evening, Fenn crashes his car headlong into a tree when a girl dressed in a white gown suddenly appears right in front of him, forcing him to swerve suddenly to avoid hitting her. He gives chase through the forest undergrowth and comes to a clearing to find the young girl staring at the same old oak tree where Fenn had earlier in the day found the doll. From behind he hears her talking and then she collapses. He knocks on the door of the nearby church having carried the girl there and is greeted by Father Hagan (William Sadler) who beckons them in. It turns out that the girl is called Alice Pagett (Cricket Brown) and she is a deaf mute, and that Father Hagan took in her in years ago when her own parents died, and has been her guardian ever since, raising the late teenager as through she was his own. Hagan says that it would have been impossible for Alice to speak as she has never been able to talk or hear anything. When Alice comes round she speaks, dumbfounding Hagan, and leading Fenn to believe that this story may just have some merit, so he decides to stay and investigate further. 

The next day during a church service, Alice gets up mid-way through and walks outside followed by other younger members of the congregation, then their parents, Fenn and Hagan. She walks up to the old oak tree and stuns the gathered onlookers by speaking clearly and claiming that she has been cured by the Virgin Mary who speaks directly to her. Needless to say this leads to a media frenzy, and in the process Alice heals a young wheelchair bound lad who is unable to walk, but miraculously is able to for the first time by having faith. All of this is filmed by Fenn.

Within a few days the Catholic Church send Monsignor Delgarde (Diogo Morgado) to investigate whether the claims of miracle healings are genuine or fake. He says that for a miracle to be truly considered genuine it must meet three key criteria - first, that it is not explicable by natural or scientific laws, second the healing must be instant, and third, it must be long lasting. He further states that he has debunked many so called miracles. He is assisted by Bishop Gyles (Cary Elwes). Fenn asks Delgarde and Gyles for exclusivity of the story, and although they are both fully aware of Fenn's chequered history as a now disgraced journalist, they agree. And so Fenn befriends Alice and begins filming his interviews with her, during which time he comes to realise that while she has been speaking with a Mary, it has only been assumed by her that this has been the Virgin Mary, and not some other entity. In the meantime, Fenn has been experiencing his own visions of a sinister Mary figure. This leads him back to Father Hagan, who has also been healed of emphysema by Alice, but also suspects the true nature behind the healings, having had visions of his own. He says that whenever God builds a church, the Devil builds a chapel next door!

Father Hagan discovers an old bound book in a wall cavity detailing the death of Mary Elnor (Marina Mazepa) the woman hanged and burned back in 1845. Mary sold her soul to Satan in order to seek revenge for her death. He would allow her and her descendants, revealed to be Alice, to perform 'miracles' so people would pledge themselves to her and in turn to Satan. To their horror they learn that Alice, who they believe is unaware of Mary's true nature, wishes to hold a service by the tree which is now cordoned off under a big marquee like structure, turning it into a shrine, and broadcast it to the masses. Father Hagan tries to prevent this, but is ultimately visited by the evil spirt of Mary Elnor in his church and winds up very dead suspended from the rafters of the church by his neck.

Meanwhile Fenn is scouring through the archives of the town in the HQ of the Boston archdiocese in an attempt to uncover more of the sinister events that occurred on that 'impossible date' in 1845 while on his mobile phone to local physician Natalie Gates (Katie Aselton) who had previously treated Alice when she was first seemingly cured. As he does so the microfiche files suddenly melt away and the statue of the Virgin Mary in the room begins to crumble and crack. In disbelief at what he is witnessing, the physical embodiment of Mary Elnor appears out of the crumbled Virgin Mary and lurches to attack. Delgarde enters the room brandishing a Holy Bible, a crucifix and chanting at which point the evil spectre vanishes into thin air. 

Back in Banfield, Fenn, Delgarde and Gates go to the church, and on the alter prepare to recite the spell from the bound book previously uncovered by Hagan. But Mary Elnor is already one step ahead of them and out of nowhere the cross standing proudly over the alter bursts into flames and comes crashing down on top of Delgarde. 

As the service begins marking The Feast of the Immaculate Conception, Alice, now standing at the shrine, says that Mary is speaking with her and urges everyone to pledge themselves to her three times. Fenn and Gates manage to stop the crowd from fully pledging, saying that none of the miracles are real, and they were all a result of the placebo effect, and that the whole story was fabricated by him. This causes Mary Elnor to angrily appear and kill Bishop Gyles before attempting to kill Fenn. She is stopped by Alice, who sacrifices herself to save his life. This in turn causes Mary to disintegrate, as Alice was her last surviving link to the living world, and as the old oak tree erupts into flame. Struck by her sacrifice, Fenn begs God to save Alice's life. She comes back to life, but is restored to her former deaf-mute status.

'The Unholy' is not a bad film, but it's also not that good. There are a few genuine jump scares here; the imagery of the resurrected evil Mary Elnor are surprisingly effective; the combination of Morgan, Brown and Sadler elevate the film above other similar standard offerings; and while the film starts out promising much it quickly falls into familiar predictable territory that we have seen more times than you can hold a crucifix to. Which is a shame because James Herbert's 1983 book was highly acclaimed at the time of its release, with many reviewers, including the Daily Express saying 'Thrills and chills galore from the best-seller Herbert . . . his best yet . . . the build-up to the horrifying climax is subtle and sophisticated . . . ' But here the Director seems to have sacrificed all those thrills and chills and the horrifying climax for a by the numbers routine and largely unoriginal offering. 

'The Unholy' warrants two claps of the Odeon Online clapperboard from a possible five claps.

-Steve, at Odeon Online-

BILL & TED FACE THE MUSIC : Tuesday 15th September 2020.

'BILL & TED FACE THE MUSIC' which I saw earlier this week is the PG Rated long awaited third instalment in the 'Bill & Ted' franchise following 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure' in 1989 and 'Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey' in 1991. Both of those films combined generated US$79M at the worldwide Box Office off the back of production budgets amounting to US$27M. This Sci-Fi comedy film is Directed by Dean Parisot whose previous feature film credits take in 'Galaxy Quest', 'Fun with Dick and Jane' and 'RED 2', was released in the US on 28th August and last week here in Australia, cost US$25M to produce and has so far grossed US$3.5M. It has generated largely positive Reviews.

Here Alex Winter reprises his role of William S. 'Bill' Preston Esq. and Keanu Reeves his role as Ted 'Theodore' Logan. Following a montage of the history of the Wyld Stallyns and their rise to meteoric super stardom and their inevitable fall from grace as they failed to write that one song that would unify the world, their CD sales took a sharp nosedive and the pair were destined to play low level gigs in dive bars in front of largely stoned or drunk patrons, Bill and Ted have remained surprisingly upbeat. Now in 2020, they are initially seen making a speech and then playing their latest song at the wedding of their mother/step mother (it's complicated) which goes horribly wrong and sounds like a cacophony of disjointed uncoordinated musical instruments all fighting against each other to be heard. 

After the failed wedding gig in front of family and friends, Ted confides in Bill that he thinks they well never write the prophesied song, and a local music store has offered him $6,500 for his Les Paul guitar which he is seriously considering taking up. However, their young daughters Theadora 'Thea' Preston (Samara Weaving) and Wilhelmina 'Billie' Logan (Brigette Lundy-Paine) have great faith in their fathers and are their greatest supporters. They egg them on with words of encouragement. 

Meanwhile, Kelly (Kristen Schaal) the now grown up daughter of their earlier time travelling guide Rufus, arrives from seven hundred years in the future to take them to 2720, where they meet with The Great Leader (Holland Taylor), who is also Kelly's mother who advises them that they have until 7:17pm that evening to write the song that will unite the universe and prevent all reality from collapsing once and forever. 

Realising that it will be almost impossible for them to write such a song in just over seventy minutes they use Rufus's time travelling phone booth to steal the song from their future selves. Landing back home but two years hence in 2022, they learn that their future selves are even more unsuccessful than they were, and that their wives have left them. With Bill and Ted missing, the Great Leader sends a time-traveling robot named Dennis Caleb McCoy (Anthony Carrigan) to kill them, hoping therefore to restore balance to the universe. Kelly travels back to the present to warn them, but instead meets their daughters, Billie and Thea, who decide to help their fathers create the song. Using Kelly's time machine, Billie and Thea recruit musicians Jimi Hendrix (DazMann Still), Louis Armstrong (Jeremiah Craft), Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Daniel Dorr), Ling Lun (the legendary founder of music in ancient China, played by Sharon Gee), and Grom (a drummer from before recorded history, played by Patty Anne Miller).

Bill and Ted travel to five years down the track to 2025, where they have seemingly become successful. However, they are tricked by their future selves, who try to pass off a song by Dave Grohl (Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Them Crooked Vultures) as their own. Billie, Thea, and their newly recruited band members from across time return to the present day to meet up with Kelly and a time-displaced Kid Cudi (Kid Cudi), but Dennis inadvertently kills them and sends them all to Hell. In the ensuing fracas Bill and Ted jump forward to 2030 and discover that their future selves are incarcerated in prison and have become ripped, muscle bound heavily tattooed inmates who now have an axe to grind with their past selves for leaving them at the mercy of the Police authorities during the bust at Dave Grohl's place, which led to their imprisonment. When their future selves get into a brawl with other inmates, Bill & Ted make a quick exit and jump forward to 2067.

There they find a much older Bill and Ted on their deathbeds in a hospital. The aged Bill and Ted give their younger selves a USB drive containing the fabled song written by Preston/Logan, stating that it must be performed at 7:17pm at 'MP 46'. Upon saying their final farewells and exiting the hospital, Dennis appears, but stands down upon learning Bill and Ted have the song, and painfully informs them that he killed their daughters, and every member of their band too. In an attempt to coax Dennis into killing them so they can rescue their daughters in Hell, Bill snaps the USB drive in half and tosses it away. This backfires as a distraught Dennis full of remorse, turns his killer laser beam weapon on himself, but Bill and Ted throw themselves in the way of the beam, so sending all three to their deaths and the depths of Hell. There Bill and Ted locate their daughters and the band. With the help of Billie and Thea, Bill and Ted square away their differences with their old bandmate Death (William Sadler) to return everyone alive to 2020.

The group arrive on a busy freeway at the 'MP 46' sign post as reality is collapsing all around them, and with only a matter of minutes left until 7:17pm. Bill and Ted realise that the 'Preston/Logan' hand written on the USB drive retrieved by Dennis, actually refers to Billie and Thea, and that the song must be performed by everyone across time and space. They are joined by their wives, Princess Elizabeth Logan (Erinn Hayes) and Princess Joanna Preston (Jayma Mays), who have both come to the realisation they are happiest in their current time period. The four use Rufus' phone booth to create infinite copies of themselves across time and space, handing instruments to everyone who ever lived. Everyone across reality performs the song together, with Billie and Thea producing, while Bill and Ted lead the band on guitar. The universe is repaired and everyone returns to their proper dimensions in time and space.

I would have to say that my expectations going into this film were not particularly high, and I came out not feeling surprised or disappointed either. This film largely hit my mark, and as the third instalment in the franchise with a 29 year hiatus between films two and three it does a largely respectable job of maintaining the quirkiness, the wackiness and the idiosyncrasies that made those first two instalments so popular and unique for their time. Keanu Reeves comes across as being just a little bored and non-plussed about the whole affair but Alex Winter more than makes up for him with his zeal, energy and innate positivity, while William Sadler gets undoubtedly the best lines in the little screen time he is afforded. Samara Weaving and Brigitte Lundy-Paine also put in a respectable turn as Bill and Ted's chips off the old blocks. The film has heart, is goofy, effects laden and there are no bad guys here, only a couple of aspiring muso lunkheads caught up in their own time warp trying to do the right thing by just about everyone they come into contact with, and living by their own credo to 'Be Excellent To Each Other'! A phrase worth heeding in these uncertain times! For lovers of 'Excellent Adventure' and 'Bogus Journey' this final instalment is sure to please and deftly recreates the silliness of those first two films. For everyone else, if you're not expecting too much, then you won't be disappointed.

'Bill & Ted Face the Music' merits three claps of the Odeon Online clapperboard from a possible five claps. 

-Steve, at Odeon Online-