Tuesday 6 June 2017

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN : DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES - Tuesday 30th May 2017.

The trailer for the latest in this hugely successful franchise 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN : DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES', which I saw last week, would have us believe, that, allegedly, this is the final voyage for the good ship Black Pearl and her merry band of seafaring pirates as led by the most infamous swashbuckling blaggard of them all Cap'n Jack Sparrow. And so here we have this fifth instalment in the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' series Directed by the Norwegian pairing of Espen Sandberg and Joachim Ronning for a cool US$230M budget outlay. This film has been in development since before the release of 'On Stranger Tides' in 2011 and went through extensive re-writes, filming delays and budget issues to ensure that the script and the production were just right to almost guarantee its commercial and critical success. It has been reported that Johnny Depp takes home a pay packet worth US$67M for reprising his role for the fifth time as our titular hero of the seven seas. This statistic would hardly seem surprising given that the first four films took a combined US$3,729B at the worldwide Box Office against a budget of US$1,044B together with a collective awards haul of 101 wins and 231 further nominations - not bad for a series of films based on a Disney theme park ride that was first launched fifty years ago. The film has so far taken US$508M since its release in the US, Canada, China and Australia at the end of May.

Here this story starts with a twelve year old Henry Turner (Lewis McGowan) who is in possession of a map that will tell him the exact offshore location of his now increasingly barnacled old man - the banished to sea as Captain aboard The Flying Dutchman, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), as seen at the end of 'At World's End'. Following a watery rendezvous at the bottom of the ocean Henry announces to his father that he knows of the means to break the curse which binds his father to Davy Jones Locker for all eternity, by way of the mythical Trident of Poseidon. Will of course will have nothing of this far flung fancy and tells his son that the Trident does not exist, and he should leave and forget about him. Henry vows to keep searching for the Trident and the means of setting his father free despite what he thinks or says.

We then fast forward nine years later and Henry is now a strapping young man (Brenton Thwaites) working for the British Royal Navy aboard a warship. While chasing down a pirate ship, Henry realises that his Captain is about to sail them straight into the jaws of the uncharted Devil's Triangle from which there is no return. Having an intimate knowledge of all things nautical, Henry is so convinced that they face certain doom, that he rebels against the Captain and his Officers, only to be locked up for his insolence and inciting a mutiny.

Sure enough, the Captain advances into The Devils Triangle and is quickly engulfed by a living shipwreck and its undead crew led by one Captain Armando Salazar (Javier Bardem), who go about killing every man on board . . . except the incarcerated Henry, who just happens to have a wanted poster for Jack Sparrow in his cell. Salazar spares Henry's life so that he can deliver a message that certain death is coming after him!

Meanwhile, on the northeast Caribbean island of Saint Martin, a young woman names Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) has been sentenced to death by hanging because she has been branded a witch because of her intelligence, her knowledge of astronomy and of horology. She is able to briefly escape her captors and inadvertently runs into Jack Sparrow who has been caught red handed robbing a bank vault with his crew. After a long slapstick chase sequence through the main town that is pulled straight from a Buster Keaton movie, the crew come to realise that the vault is empty and all their hard efforts were for nothing. Saying that their Captain's luck and good fortune have finally run out, Jack's crew abandon him. Later Carina meets with Henry who has also been sentenced to death for his crimes against the Royal Navy. During their brief meeting Carina tells Henry that she knows how to locate the Trident. She helps to free Henry but in the process is captured herself.

By now Jack is feeling decidedly depressed and sorry for himself. He has lost his crew, his ship, The Black Pearl, is cursed and locked inside a bottle, and he has no money with which to even buy himself a drink. He lumbers into a tavern caked in mud from a booze induced fall, and trades in his mystical compass for a bottle of the landlords finest rum. In giving up his compass, this causes the Devil Triangle to crumble into the sea, and Salazar and his undead ship mates to roam the seas now freely. Before you know it, Jack is caught by the British Army and sentenced to death with Carina the Witch. He chooses the guillotine and she is to be hanged. However, just in time Henry comes to the rescue of them both, as do Jack's former shipmates and crew having been paid to do so by Henry.  What follows is another action set piece lifted straight out of the Keystone Cops, allowing Jack, Henry, Carina and the pirate crew to escape on Jack's ramshackle old ship 'The Dying Gull'.

Out on the ocean wave, Carina reveals to Henry and Jack that she is in possession of a map that will lead them to the whereabouts of the Trident, but that the map is hidden in the stars, and being an astronomer and a horologist, only she is qualified on board to navigate the course. She agrees to help Henry lift the curse on her father and Jack lift the curse of the revengeful Salazar in exchange for her realising the dream that was left to her by her father. Meanwhile, Salazar is free to sail the seas in search of Jack and is intent on dispensing with all pirate ships once again. He systematically wipes out Barbossa's fleet which has grown quite large and very wealthy, in his relentless search for Captain Jack. Barbossa meets with Salazar and bargains with him to spare his fleet in exchange for the delivery of Jack Sparrow to which the undead Captain reluctantly agrees.

Before long Barbossa delivers on his promise to Salazar by locating Jack's ship off in the distance. Jack, Carina and Henry make off to the safety of a nearby island in a rowing boat, leaving the crew aboard The Dying Gull to create a distraction. Salazar and his men, being undead, are all to nimbly walk on water and give chase to the rowboat. Fortunately Jack, Carina and Henry are able to evade Salazar and his men at the waters edge when it is realised that the ghost crew are unable to walk on dry land, having been banished for all eternity to a watery existence.

Jack, Carina and Henry head inland and are promptly captured by some local pirate types that have taken up residence having been abandon there long before. Jack is forced into marrying the fugly overweight daughter of their leader but is rescued from a fate worse than death by Barbossa. He breaks the miniaturised Black Pearl out of its bottle, so breaking its curse and returning it to its full size and former glory. Barbossa takes control of the ship, ties up Jack to the mast, and allows Carina to navigate them to the island where the Trident is allegedly hidden. In a moment of calm, Jack and Barbossa come to realise a tantalising secret about Carina's true parentage, that neither of them can speak of again.

Sometime later, the Black Pearl escapes being destroyed by a British Naval warship, the HMS Essex under the command of Lieutenant Scarfield (David Wenham), which is instead taken out by Salazar's ship. The crew of the Black Pearl then face off against the crew of Salazar's ship, and is able to break away arriving at the island as directed by a constellation of stars marking out a path. Upon activating a path to the Trident, Jack and Carina are sent careering down a pathway  to the ocean floor where the Trident is located. By now the ocean has formed a deep trench with a deep wall of water on either side making access for the living easy.

Meanwhile, Salazar has given chase, and his undead ghost possesses Henry so enabling him to walk on dry land, which in turn gives him access to the Trident on the now dry ocean bed, which he gets to first. Wielding its mighty power, Salazar impales Jack with the Trident. Henry is now free of Salazar's ghostly possession and realises that an earlier clue to breaking its curse upon the sea, is to 'divide' the Trident into two. Before Salazar is able to render the final blow to Jack, Henry intervenes, breaks the Trident and so returning Salazar and his shipmates to the realm of the living. Barbossa aids Jack, Carina and Henry to safety by way of the dropped anchor from the Black Pearl above, but time is running out as the divided sea walls now begin to cave in. As the anchor gradually lifts the three and Barbossa to safety with torrents of ocean water closing in, so Salazar makes a final last ditch attempt to thwart Jack, but ultimately is unsuccessful. Salazar and his crew mates are engulfed by the sea, drown and die, never to be seen again!

All ends happily after after, as Will Turner's curse is lifted and he is reunited with his wife Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), Henry and Carina get it together, and Jack regains the mighty Black Pearl, a loyal crew, and his mystical compass back which points to their next heading, which might just be the teaser that 'Pirates 6' is more of a likelihood than the Studio Exec's would have us believe.

This is an OK entry into the 'Pirates' cannon, but delivers exactly what you would expect and largely what you have seen before. The action set pieces and the CGI are impressive enough, but delivered with a slapstick intent that has been overcooked in the four previous instalments, and as such there is really nothing new to see here. It is an entertaining enough romp - not a bad film but not a great one either, just about sufficient to keep you engaged and maintain your interest for its two hour running time. Johnny Depp plays the Cap'n with a predictable familiarity, that even his brief younger days back story provide little respite from. Rush and Bardem as Barbossa and Salazar respectively provide more of a spectacle and keep the momentum going providing a welcome break from Sparrow's trademark slapstick antics, forced smiles and die-hard one-liners. Watch out for the cameo by Sir Paul McCartney as locked up Uncle Jack, and the end credits sequence setting the scene for the next instalment . . . maybe, perhaps, possibly, and do we really need it!

-Steve, at Odeon Online-

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