F1 : Tuesday 1st July 2025

I saw the M Rated 'F1' this week, and this American sports drama film is Co-Written, Co-Produced and Directed by Joseph Kosinski whose prior feature film efforts take in 'Tron : Legacy' in 2010, 'Oblivion' in 2013, 'Only the Brave' in 2017, 'Top Gun : Maverick' in 2022 and 'Spiderhead' also in 2022. This film features the Formula One World Championship, created in collaboration with the FIA, its governing body, and is Co-Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, Lewis Hamilton and Brad Pitt. The film was released internationally last week, cost somewhere between US$200 and 300M to produce, has so far grossed US$167M and has generated positive critical reviews.

The film opens with American racing driver and former Formula One (F1) prodigy, Sonny Hayes (Brad Pitt), living nomadically in a camper van and earning a crust as a racer-for-hire in any car and in any discipline. He raced for Lotus in the 1990's, and was destined to become the next big thing, until severe injuries from a crash at the Spanish Grand Prix in 1993 brought his F1 career to an abrupt halt. As a result, he became a gambling addict that cost him three marriages, disappeared from racing for ten years and even did a stint as a New York taxi driver. We see him win the 24 Hours of Daytona - the sports car endurance race for the Chip Hart Racing Team, with team owner Chip Hart (Shea Whigham) urging Sonny to stay on with the team after winning, but Sonny isn't interested and almost immediately exits the circuit in his camper van.

At a diner later that evening his former Lotus teammate Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem) tracks him down. Ruben is now the owner of the APXGP F1 Team, and offers him a test drive to fill their spare seat. Ruben states that his investors will sell the team unless APXGP, last in the World Constructors' Championship with no points and last in the Drivers Championship also with zero points, wins one of the nine remaining Grand Prix that year. Sonny reluctantly agrees after Ruben tells him victory will make him 'the best in the world', and places a first class airline ticket on the table to their UK HQ.

At the Silverstone test, Sonny meets team principal Kaspar Smolinski (Kim Bodnia), technical director Kate McKenna (Kerry Condon), and ambitious British rookie driver Joshua Pearce (Damson Idris), who states that seven drivers turned down the opportunity to drive for Apex. Joshua quietly worries the potential sale will result in his replacement, believing he must beat at all costs his teammates to impress the investors. During his test, Sonny struggles with the set up of a modern F1 car, but very quickly after just one lap of the circuit identifies the car's weaknesses. Despite crashing out in his maiden test drive around the circuit, Kaspar recognises his talent behind the wheel and agrees to him being signed up.

Sonny returns at the British Grand Prix, where slow and fumbled pit stops lead the APXGP drivers to last position after a fairly promising start. Sonny ignores team orders to let Joshua by and they collide, both spinning out of control into the sand traps. 

In Hungary, Sonny mends his relationship with Joshua by exploiting F1 rules by colliding with other drivers to force safety cars onto the track on three separate occasions. He helps Joshua catch the midfield and score APXGP's maiden points finish with a ninth placing. Joshua adopts Sonny's old-school training practices, and Sonny emulates his simulator work, and later persuades Kate to redesign the car for 'combat'. 

During the rain-soaked Italian Grand Prix, Sonny encourages Joshua to remain on slick tires, which risks aquaplaning but vaults Joshua up to second place. Joshua ignores Sonny's advice to wait for a straight before attempting to overtake Max Verstappen. He hits a curb and his car becomes airborne flying over a barrier and immediately explodes in a ball of flame upon landing. Sonny pulls him from the fire and Joshua misses three races with his hands badly burnt. Sonny meanwhile claims consistent points over the next few races, and grows in popularity with the fans. Joshua becomes more determined than ever to defeat him upon his return.

In his comeback race at the Belgian Grand Prix, Joshua's aggressive driving results in a collision with Sonny, forcing him out of the race and angering him. Kate arranges a poker game between her, Sonny and Joshua in the bar of their hotel in Las Vegas where the winner gets favourable treatment at the upcoming Las Vegas Grand Prix. Joshua wins with a pair of fives but, after he leaves, Sonny reveals he intentionally folded with a winning hand of a pair of Kings. 

Impressed, Kate courts Sonny and they spend the night together. Ruben interrupts them early the next morning to reveal that an anonymous tip claimed Kate manufactured the 'combat' upgrades illegally. Kate denies any wrongdoing, but the FIA (the governing body of many international motorsport championships and disciplines, including Formula One) demand the upgrades be removed, or they cannot race. During the race, Sonny gets road rage and crashes out. As Sonny recovers in a hospital bed, Ruben learns his 1993 injuries permanently impaired him, and fires him for his own safety, and to protect the integrity of his team. 

As he is about to leave the circuit and his team behind, he is approached by APXGP Board member Peter Banning (Tobias Menzies) who reveals to Sonny that he orchestrated his signing and the complaint to the FIA so he could fire Ruben and sell APXGP, offering to promote him to team principal if the sale goes through, making him rich beyond his wildest dreams. His gives Sonny three days to consider his offer. 

Before the last race of the season at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, Joshua commits to being more responsible and disciplined, admitting to his mother Bernadette (Sarah Niles) that his crash in Italy was not Sonny's fault, but his own. Sonny persuades Ruben into letting him race and declines Peter's offer via text message with a simple emoji flipping him the bird. The FIA exonerates Kate, allowing APXGP to restore her upgrades. During the race, Joshua takes the lead by remaining on worn tyres, but is overtaken by Lewis Hamilton and Charles Leclerc. 

A very welcome red flag is shown after a struggling Sonny, in fourth, collides with George Russell, causing all drivers to pit for ten minutes and for Sonny's car to be repaired and for both APXGP drivers to restart on a set of fresh tyres - a luxury the other drivers did not have because all the other teams used up their tyre allocations in practice and qualifying. After the ten minute pause and with just three laps remaining, Sonny passing Charles Leclerc, sacrifices his chance at victory by forcing Lewis to block his overtake instead of Joshua's. However, Lewis and Joshua collide on the final lap, clearing the way for Sonny's and APXGP's maiden victory, therefore preventing the sale of the team and cementing Ruben's position for another three years. 

Sonny and Ruben rejoice on the podium, exclaiming 'we are the best in the world'. Toto Wolff, team principal and co-owner of Mercedes offers Joshua a seat with his team at anytime, but Joshua gratefully declines. Sonny and Kate confirm their relationship, with the pair committing to see each other again 'down the road'. Joshua congratulates Sonny, who returns to his nomadic lifestyle, competing in the Baja 1000 - the annual Mexican off-road motorsport race held on the Baja California Peninsula, with a course of up to about 850 or more miles. 

As with 'Top Gun : Maverick' here Director and Co-Producer Joseph Kosinski and Producer Jerry Bruckheimer have spared no expense and fine tuned every last detail to put the audience right slap bang in the middle of the action, and where the roar of the engines, the thrill of the race and the emotion of winning and losing is concerned, where else would you want to be? Together with Brad Pitt and seven time World Champion F1 driver Lewis Hamilton who also serve as Co-Producers, this team have crafted an authentic race movie as you'll ever likely to see. The race sequences are thrilling and exhilarating, and the principle cast led by Pitt, Idris, Bardem and Condon all add a sense of realism and believability to the proceedings, ably aided and abetted by numerous cameo appearances from the complete line up of F1 drivers from the 2023 and 2024 seasons plus a number of team principals and owners that serve to cement the authenticity. Whilst the plot is fairly thin on the ground and at the same time predictable, the spectacle of being in the drivers seat with Sonny Hayes and Joshua Pearce and seeing the race track flash past and in front at 200+ MPH is what this film is all about, and on that level it doesn't disappoint, and at a running time of 155 minutes it doesn't leave you wanting either.

'F1' warrants four claps of the Odeon Online clapperboard from a possible five claps.

-Steve, at Odeon Online-

DUNE : Tuesday 7th December 2021.

'DUNE' which I saw at my local independent movie theatre this week is an M Rated American epic Sci-Fi film Directed, Co-Written for the screen and Co-Produced by Denis Villeneuve whose previous feature film offerings take in 'Incendies' in 2010, 'Prisoners' in 2013, 'Sicario' in 2015, 'Arrival' in 2016 and 'Blade Runner 2049' in 2017. This film is based on the 1965 novel by Frank Herbert and is the first instalment in a planned two part adaptation with 'Dune : Part Two' now slated for an October 2023 release. Originally scheduled for a late November 2020 release, the film was delayed by the COVID-19 pandemic, instead having its World Premier at the Venice International Film Festival on 3rd September this year ahead of its international release in mid-September. It was then released in US cinemas and streaming on HBO Max on 21st October, and went on general release in Australia only last week. The film has so far generated largely positive critical acclaim and has so far grossed US$383M off the back of a US$165M production budget. 

Duke Leto Atreides (Oscar Isaac) of House Atreides, the ruler of the planet Caladan, is assigned by the Emperor of the Universe Shaddam Corrino to replace House Harkonnen as fief rulers of the planet Arrakis. House Harkonnen have presided over Arrakis for the past eight hundred years and so this news comes as a bitter disappointment to them needless to say. Arrakis is a harsh desert planet and the only known source of 'spice' in the universe, a valuable substance that bestows its users greater vitality and expanded consciousness. It is also critical for interstellar travel as it allows Spacing Guild Navigators to use a limited form of foresight to safely navigate through interstellar space. The reality is however, that Shaddam is scared and jealous and intends to have House Harkonnen stage a violent and bloody coup to retake the planet with the aid of the Emperor's Sardaukar troops, eradicating House Atreides once and for all, whose influence threatens Shaddam's control. Leto is reluctant but but can see the political advantages of controlling the spice planet and forming an alliance with its native population, skilled desert dwelling fighters known as the Fremen.

Leto's mistress Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson) is a disciple of the Bene Gesserit, an exclusive sisterhood whose members possess advanced physical and mental capabilities. As part of their centuries-long breeding regime, the Bene Gesserit instructed Jessica to bear a daughter whose son would become a male Bene Gesserit, a messianic superbeing with the power of second sight necessary to guide humanity to a better future. Instead she gave birth to a son, Paul (Timothee Chalamet). Throughout his life, Paul is trained by Leto's aides, Duncan Idaho (Jason Momoa), Gurney Halleck (Josh Brolin), and the Mentat Thufir Hawat (Stephen McKinley Henderson), while Jessica trains Paul in the ways of the Bene Gesserit. 

Paul confides in Jessica and Duncan that he has recurring dreams of the future. Because of these dreams, the Emperor's Truthsayer the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam (Charlotte Rampling) visits Caladan and subjects Paul to a deadly test to assess his impulse control, which he passes. Mohiam instructs House patriarch Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (Stellan Skarsgard) to spare Paul and Jessica during his coup on Arrakis, to which he responds that he, will not harm them. 

Some two weeks later, House Atreides arrives at Arrakeen, the fortress stronghold on Arrakis, where Duncan and an advance party have been learning all they can about the planet and the Fremen. It is unknown who remained on Caladan to oversee and protect the Atreides home planet in the meantime. Leto negotiates with the Fremen's chieftain Stilgar (Javier Bardem) and meets the Imperial ecologist and Judge of Change Dr. Liet-Kynes (Sharon Duncan-Brewster). Kynes informs Leto, Paul, and Halleck of the dangers of spice harvesting, including giant sandworms which can grow up to four hundred metres long and which travel under the desert sands and are attracted by vibrations and sounds on the surface. During a flight, they spot a sandworm approaching an active spice harvester with a stranded crew on board. Leto and his team rescue the workers with barely minutes to spare before the sandworm swallows the harvester. Paul's exposure to the spice-laden air triggers more intense visions of the future.

After an attempt on Paul's life by a Harkonnen agent, Leto places his army on high alert. Suk doctor Wellington Yueh (Chang Chen) disables Arrakeen's protective shields which allows Harkonnen and Sardaukar troops to overwhelm the Atreides forces, and ultimately destroy Arrakeen. Yueh incapacitates Leto and tells him he had no choice but to make a deal to deliver him to the Baron Harkonnen in exchange for freeing his captive wife. Yueh replaces one of Leto's teeth with a poison gas capsule and is killed by the Baron after delivering the Duke. As Leto lies naked in  chair at the end of a long table and in an incapacitated state he murmers, and the Baron leans in to listen. Leto bites down on the fake tooth and releases the poison gas, killing himself and members of the Baron's court almost immediately, but the Baron survives. 

Duncan escapes and steals an ornithopter (a flying machine with the body of a helicopter but the wings that oscillate rapidly like a dragon fly). Harkonnens soldiers capture Paul and Jessica and take them into the desert where they will be dumped to die. However, Paul and Jessica overpower and kill their captors using a Bene Gesserit ability known as 'the Voice', a means of controlling the actions of others through verbal commands. Finding a survival kit left for them by Yueh, Paul and Jessica spend the night in a tent, which by daybreak is buried under the sand. Paul experiences more dreams, this time of a 'holy war' raging across the universe in his name. The next morning, they make their way out of the buried tent and continue their journey in search of the Fremen.

The Baron, recovering from the poison gas attack, gives command of Arrakis to his over zealous nephew Glossu Rabban (Dave Bautista) and orders him to sell spice reserves while the price is still at a peak and restart production to recover the cost of the coup. Paul and Jessica are found by Duncan and Kynes and head to an old unused aquifer station but are quickly tracked by Sardaukar. Duncan and a number of the Fremen sacrifice themselves to allow Jessica, Paul, and Kynes to escape the aquifer on foot. Kynes separates and is ambushed by three Sardaukar soldiers, so she lures a sandworm by thumping with her fist on the sand. The sandworm duly arrives and quickly devours them along with her. Paul and Jessica escape in an ornithopter and fly through an 800kph sandstorm, ultimately crash landing deep in the desert. 

Running to a rocky outcrop they manage to evade a sandworm and there meet a group of Fremen, among them Stilgar and Chani (Zendaya), the girl seen by Paul's in his dreams. Fremen warrior Jamis (Babs Olusanmokun) protests their admission into thier encampment and is killed by Paul in a ritual duel to the death. Against Jessica's wishes, Paul insists on joining the Fremen to fulfil his father's goal of bringing peace to Arrakis, and preventing a holy war spreading across the universe in his name. 

'Dune' is an epic film in just about every sense of the term. From the stunning visuals, the action set pieces, the character development, the cinematography, the ensemble cast, the world building and the Hans Zimmer composed thumping soundtrack this ticks all the boxes and must be seen on a big cinema screen to truly appreciate the scale and spectacle of what Director Denis Villeneuve has delivered. At over two-and-a half hours in length, sure the movie lags in places but it moves along at a swift pace and never leaves you wanting, and whilst some critics have commented that it only covers half of Frank Herbert's novel, that is the Director's intention as the opening credit says 'Dune : Part One'. Aside for being a Sci-Fi spectacle for the ages and all ages, the film has emotional heft and delves into the human psyche as much as it does the grandeur of the set designs and the manner in which the action scenes play out. For a universe set some eight thousand years into the future however, one thing that left me scratching my head was why, oh why, with all their advanced technology, world building prowess and interstellar travel capabilities, do they still go into hand to hand battle with swords and daggers? Clearly, ours is not to reason why . . . ! Bring on 'Part Two'.

'Dune' warrants four claps of the Odeon Online clapperboard from a potential five claps.

-Steve, at Odeon Online-

mother! : Tuesday 19th September 2017

'MOTHER !' is a psychological horror film Written by Darren Aronofsky in just five days, and is Co-Produced and Directed by him too. His previous screen Directing credits include 'Requiem for a Dream', 'The Fountain', 'The Wrestler', 'Black Swan' and 'Noah' and so far during his career to date he has amassed 35 award wins and 79 other nominations. The film had its worldwide Premier at the very recent Venice Film Festival where the film was both booed and received a standing ovation at the same time, was released in the US and in Australia on the 15th September, and it would be fair to say that this film has polarised audiences the world over. Some have praised it for the performances of the principle Actors and for Aronofsky's Direction, whilst others have criticised it for its story, disturbing scenes, muddled mixed messages and its metaphorical narrative. The film cost US$30M to make and has so far recovered US$26M.

The film opens up with a blackened landscape ravaged by fire, homing in on a grand stand alone colonial style house that is burnt out, but still standing. A man, Him (Javier Bardem), places a large crystal like object on a three pronged pedestal in his study, and immediately the house begins to reform to its former glory, with all signs of fire damage washing away, and in turn the burnt out landscape surrounding the home is restored to a lush green gardens bordered by verdant woodland. A form rises out of the bed from the ashes on a bright sunlit morning, and up sits Mother (Jennifer Lawrence) who calls after Him, her husband. She ventures down stairs searching for Him, opening the front door on a new day, when he suddenly appears behind her. He is an acclaimed author and poet with a severe case of writers block that he is seemingly unable to shake off, and she goes about her daily routine of restoring the property after the fire - an ongoing work in progress making steady and sure progress. However, Him's creative blockade begins to undermine their peaceful country living existence, and soon Mother begins having visions around the house of things that unnerve and unsettle her.

One day, a Man (Ed Harris) rocks up at the door, claiming that he was told that their property was a Bed & Breakfast, and he is looking for somewhere to stay having recently moved into the area. Almost immediately Him is taken in by the Man, and as it is approaching the evening Him offers to let the Man stay for the night. Mother agrees albeit very reluctantly. She witnesses the Man having severe bouts of coughing fits to the point where he is physically sick. The two men stay up late into the night drinking, chatting and laughing like long lost mates. The next day, there is another knock at the door, and the Man's wife, Woman (Michelle Pfeiffer) arrives to take up residence, marching on in believing the place to be a Bed & Breakfast too.

Fairly quickly Mother becomes frustrated by Man and Woman's presence around her home, invading their privacy, offering unwanted advice, and making a very unwelcome nuisance of themselves. Mother wants them gone, but Him says that their presence makes the house feel lived in and alive. Furthermore, Him reveals that Man is dying and he has learned that they are big fans of his work, and that Man wanted to meet Him before he dies. Later, Man and Woman take it upon themselves to go into Him's private study that is out of bounds to visitors. In doing so they are intrigued by the crystal object and while handling it, they let it fall to the floor shattering it into a thousand pieces. Him is furious and can hardly contain himself. Him and Mother agree to ask them to leave.

While preparing to leave there is another knock at the door and in barge to feuding young men - Man and Woman's grown up boys - the Oldest Son (Domhnall Gleeson) and his Younger Brother (Brian Gleeson). They are arguing and shouting at each other over the recently discovered will of their father which leaves everything to the Younger Brother. They fight in an all out brawl that sets tables and chairs sent flying and household objects trashed. The Younger Brother is accidentally mortally injured at the hands of the Oldest Son, who flees upon seeing blood oozing form the back of his brothers head, leaving Man and Woman to take their youngest son to the nearest hospital, accompanied by Him. When Him returns, he reveals that Younger Brother has died and has been subsequently buried. Later that evening a horde of people arrive at the house for the wake immediately making them selves at home and further frustrating Mother for their blatant disregard of her household, their possessions and their privacy. She reaches breaking point, when a couple who deliberately break a kitchen sink that has not yet been set, flood the lower house when they break the plumbing and water gushes out of every service pipe. When all the 'guests' have left Mothers berates Him for allowing so many unwanted and unwelcome people into their home. The couple argue fiercely, which turns into them having sex. The morning after, Mother announces that she his pregnant.

This news fills Him with a joy and an elation that motivates and inspires his creative juices. Suddenly Him has rediscovered his writing mojo and frantically puts pen to paper. In due course he lets Mother read the final pages of his work and then announces that his latest work has been published already. To celebrate, Mother prepares a romantic dinner for two, by now increasingly pregnant. As she is about to serve up dinner, Him is outside on the front veranda surrounded by a growing multitude of his fans all wanting an autograph and a piece of him. More fans arrive, and then more, and pretty soon, these fans are wanting to use the toilet, the telephone, helping themselves to the dinner spread she had so lovingly prepared earlier, and in due course ransacking the house of the couples possessions as mementos and keepsakes of their author hero. The house soon descends into chaos as armed Police arrive, and a disoriented Mother who is heavily pregnant, stumbles from one room to another seeking safe refuge, but none is to be found.

Him's Publisher arrives, The Herald (Kirsten Wiig) who at first is sympathetic to Mother and seeks to safeguard her, but soon takes part in the unfolding madness by executing at point blank range several of his fans before more are lined up for the same outcome. Then the military arrive in force to protect Mother and the house quickly becomes a war zone with the onset of her labour. She finds her husband who leads her up to his study where she gives birth to a boy. Outside the study door it has gone eerily quiet. Mother refuses to give up her child to Him, fearful for what he may do, and can she now trust him given everything she has seen and experienced. He says that the crowd beyond the door just want a glimpse of the newborn child, but she refuses. Then she falls asleep cradling the baby, and when she wakes and the baby is no longer in her arms she runs outside the door to see the child being crowd surfed across the room downstairs. Needless to say it doesn't end well for the baby or Mother, with Mother turning on the crowd and slicing and dicing those within easy reach with a broken shard of glass. The crowd turn on her, ripping at her clothes, forcing her to the ground and punching and kicking her to within an inch of her life. Him intervenes and stops the crowd. Mother is able to get away to the cellar where the oil tanker is located that fuels the furnace that heats the house. Despite her husbands pleas, Mother ignites the fuel oil so sending the house, the gathered crowds, herself and the immediate surrounding countryside up in ball of flame.

Both Mother and Him survive the explosion. Mother however, is badly burned all over, her skin charred black. Him, however, is untouched despite his very close proximity to the explosion. Placing her on a bench he asks her for whatever love she has left for him, and she agrees to give it. He then places his hands on her chest and digs in with both his hands pulling out her heart. In his hands the heart turns to charcoal which he crushes in his hands to reveal a crystal like object, identical to the one destroyed previously by Man and Woman. He places the crystal on a three pronged pedestal in his study and immediately the house begins to regenerate from burnt out war torn husk to a newly renovated home, and with it the gardens and surrounding countryside return to their lush green foliage. A new Mother forms in bed out of the ashes, rises up and calls after her husband.

It is easy to see why this film has been so divisive. It is the sort of film you'll either love for its original story telling, bold Direction and strong performances, or you'll hate it for its pretension, its steady descent into complete chaos, its graphic imagery, and its mixed messages. This is not a horror film in the traditional sense, but that doesn't make the film any less terrifying. The horror here too is in the confusion that rains down on Mother and the feeling of helplessness she feels when her peaceful lovingly renovated home is invaded by various individuals on multiple occasions. There are those that will interpret Aronofsky's work here as a metaphorical Garden of Eden, with Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Mother Earth and a God like figure all playing out to the climax of the film where the Earth is cleansed of all sin and everything is made new again. Or the power of a mans relationship over his wife, or some other hidden meaning! But that's OK, because that's what Aronofsky wants - to promote discussion, debate and dialogue about his film - good, bad and indifferent! This is a visually stunning, bold and audacious, original film set within the confines of a large isolated country house, that will provoke further thought and discussion long after the credits have rolled, but, it won't be for everyone!

-Steve, at Odeon Online-

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN : DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES - Tuesday 30th May 2017.

The trailer for the latest in this hugely successful franchise 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN : DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES', which I saw last week, would have us believe, that, allegedly, this is the final voyage for the good ship Black Pearl and her merry band of seafaring pirates as led by the most infamous swashbuckling blaggard of them all Cap'n Jack Sparrow. And so here we have this fifth instalment in the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' series Directed by the Norwegian pairing of Espen Sandberg and Joachim Ronning for a cool US$230M budget outlay. This film has been in development since before the release of 'On Stranger Tides' in 2011 and went through extensive re-writes, filming delays and budget issues to ensure that the script and the production were just right to almost guarantee its commercial and critical success. It has been reported that Johnny Depp takes home a pay packet worth US$67M for reprising his role for the fifth time as our titular hero of the seven seas. This statistic would hardly seem surprising given that the first four films took a combined US$3,729B at the worldwide Box Office against a budget of US$1,044B together with a collective awards haul of 101 wins and 231 further nominations - not bad for a series of films based on a Disney theme park ride that was first launched fifty years ago. The film has so far taken US$508M since its release in the US, Canada, China and Australia at the end of May.

Here this story starts with a twelve year old Henry Turner (Lewis McGowan) who is in possession of a map that will tell him the exact offshore location of his now increasingly barnacled old man - the banished to sea as Captain aboard The Flying Dutchman, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), as seen at the end of 'At World's End'. Following a watery rendezvous at the bottom of the ocean Henry announces to his father that he knows of the means to break the curse which binds his father to Davy Jones Locker for all eternity, by way of the mythical Trident of Poseidon. Will of course will have nothing of this far flung fancy and tells his son that the Trident does not exist, and he should leave and forget about him. Henry vows to keep searching for the Trident and the means of setting his father free despite what he thinks or says.

We then fast forward nine years later and Henry is now a strapping young man (Brenton Thwaites) working for the British Royal Navy aboard a warship. While chasing down a pirate ship, Henry realises that his Captain is about to sail them straight into the jaws of the uncharted Devil's Triangle from which there is no return. Having an intimate knowledge of all things nautical, Henry is so convinced that they face certain doom, that he rebels against the Captain and his Officers, only to be locked up for his insolence and inciting a mutiny.

Sure enough, the Captain advances into The Devils Triangle and is quickly engulfed by a living shipwreck and its undead crew led by one Captain Armando Salazar (Javier Bardem), who go about killing every man on board . . . except the incarcerated Henry, who just happens to have a wanted poster for Jack Sparrow in his cell. Salazar spares Henry's life so that he can deliver a message that certain death is coming after him!

Meanwhile, on the northeast Caribbean island of Saint Martin, a young woman names Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) has been sentenced to death by hanging because she has been branded a witch because of her intelligence, her knowledge of astronomy and of horology. She is able to briefly escape her captors and inadvertently runs into Jack Sparrow who has been caught red handed robbing a bank vault with his crew. After a long slapstick chase sequence through the main town that is pulled straight from a Buster Keaton movie, the crew come to realise that the vault is empty and all their hard efforts were for nothing. Saying that their Captain's luck and good fortune have finally run out, Jack's crew abandon him. Later Carina meets with Henry who has also been sentenced to death for his crimes against the Royal Navy. During their brief meeting Carina tells Henry that she knows how to locate the Trident. She helps to free Henry but in the process is captured herself.

By now Jack is feeling decidedly depressed and sorry for himself. He has lost his crew, his ship, The Black Pearl, is cursed and locked inside a bottle, and he has no money with which to even buy himself a drink. He lumbers into a tavern caked in mud from a booze induced fall, and trades in his mystical compass for a bottle of the landlords finest rum. In giving up his compass, this causes the Devil Triangle to crumble into the sea, and Salazar and his undead ship mates to roam the seas now freely. Before you know it, Jack is caught by the British Army and sentenced to death with Carina the Witch. He chooses the guillotine and she is to be hanged. However, just in time Henry comes to the rescue of them both, as do Jack's former shipmates and crew having been paid to do so by Henry.  What follows is another action set piece lifted straight out of the Keystone Cops, allowing Jack, Henry, Carina and the pirate crew to escape on Jack's ramshackle old ship 'The Dying Gull'.

Out on the ocean wave, Carina reveals to Henry and Jack that she is in possession of a map that will lead them to the whereabouts of the Trident, but that the map is hidden in the stars, and being an astronomer and a horologist, only she is qualified on board to navigate the course. She agrees to help Henry lift the curse on her father and Jack lift the curse of the revengeful Salazar in exchange for her realising the dream that was left to her by her father. Meanwhile, Salazar is free to sail the seas in search of Jack and is intent on dispensing with all pirate ships once again. He systematically wipes out Barbossa's fleet which has grown quite large and very wealthy, in his relentless search for Captain Jack. Barbossa meets with Salazar and bargains with him to spare his fleet in exchange for the delivery of Jack Sparrow to which the undead Captain reluctantly agrees.

Before long Barbossa delivers on his promise to Salazar by locating Jack's ship off in the distance. Jack, Carina and Henry make off to the safety of a nearby island in a rowing boat, leaving the crew aboard The Dying Gull to create a distraction. Salazar and his men, being undead, are all to nimbly walk on water and give chase to the rowboat. Fortunately Jack, Carina and Henry are able to evade Salazar and his men at the waters edge when it is realised that the ghost crew are unable to walk on dry land, having been banished for all eternity to a watery existence.

Jack, Carina and Henry head inland and are promptly captured by some local pirate types that have taken up residence having been abandon there long before. Jack is forced into marrying the fugly overweight daughter of their leader but is rescued from a fate worse than death by Barbossa. He breaks the miniaturised Black Pearl out of its bottle, so breaking its curse and returning it to its full size and former glory. Barbossa takes control of the ship, ties up Jack to the mast, and allows Carina to navigate them to the island where the Trident is allegedly hidden. In a moment of calm, Jack and Barbossa come to realise a tantalising secret about Carina's true parentage, that neither of them can speak of again.

Sometime later, the Black Pearl escapes being destroyed by a British Naval warship, the HMS Essex under the command of Lieutenant Scarfield (David Wenham), which is instead taken out by Salazar's ship. The crew of the Black Pearl then face off against the crew of Salazar's ship, and is able to break away arriving at the island as directed by a constellation of stars marking out a path. Upon activating a path to the Trident, Jack and Carina are sent careering down a pathway  to the ocean floor where the Trident is located. By now the ocean has formed a deep trench with a deep wall of water on either side making access for the living easy.

Meanwhile, Salazar has given chase, and his undead ghost possesses Henry so enabling him to walk on dry land, which in turn gives him access to the Trident on the now dry ocean bed, which he gets to first. Wielding its mighty power, Salazar impales Jack with the Trident. Henry is now free of Salazar's ghostly possession and realises that an earlier clue to breaking its curse upon the sea, is to 'divide' the Trident into two. Before Salazar is able to render the final blow to Jack, Henry intervenes, breaks the Trident and so returning Salazar and his shipmates to the realm of the living. Barbossa aids Jack, Carina and Henry to safety by way of the dropped anchor from the Black Pearl above, but time is running out as the divided sea walls now begin to cave in. As the anchor gradually lifts the three and Barbossa to safety with torrents of ocean water closing in, so Salazar makes a final last ditch attempt to thwart Jack, but ultimately is unsuccessful. Salazar and his crew mates are engulfed by the sea, drown and die, never to be seen again!

All ends happily after after, as Will Turner's curse is lifted and he is reunited with his wife Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), Henry and Carina get it together, and Jack regains the mighty Black Pearl, a loyal crew, and his mystical compass back which points to their next heading, which might just be the teaser that 'Pirates 6' is more of a likelihood than the Studio Exec's would have us believe.

This is an OK entry into the 'Pirates' cannon, but delivers exactly what you would expect and largely what you have seen before. The action set pieces and the CGI are impressive enough, but delivered with a slapstick intent that has been overcooked in the four previous instalments, and as such there is really nothing new to see here. It is an entertaining enough romp - not a bad film but not a great one either, just about sufficient to keep you engaged and maintain your interest for its two hour running time. Johnny Depp plays the Cap'n with a predictable familiarity, that even his brief younger days back story provide little respite from. Rush and Bardem as Barbossa and Salazar respectively provide more of a spectacle and keep the momentum going providing a welcome break from Sparrow's trademark slapstick antics, forced smiles and die-hard one-liners. Watch out for the cameo by Sir Paul McCartney as locked up Uncle Jack, and the end credits sequence setting the scene for the next instalment . . . maybe, perhaps, possibly, and do we really need it!

-Steve, at Odeon Online-