DEATH ON THE NILE : Tuesday 8th February 2022.

I saw the Australian Premier screening of the PG Rated 'DEATH ON THE NILE' at the Open Air Cinema at Mrs. Macquarie's Point in Sydney earlier this week. This mystery thriller is Directed, Co-Produced and stars Kenneth Branagh and is based on the 1937 novel of the same name by Agatha Christie, is the follow up to Branagh's 2017 film 'Murder on the Orient Express', and is the third screen adaptation of the novel after the 1978 feature film and an episode on the TV series 'Agatha Christie's Poirot' aired in 2004. The film was originally set to be released on 20th December 2019, before being rescheduled to 9th October 2020. It was then pushed back two weeks to 23rd October and again to 18th December in response to the domestic box office during the COVID-19 pandemic. In November 2020, the film was removed from its upcoming release schedule until further notice. The next month, the film was rescheduled to 17th September 2021 and in March 2021, it was then moved to this week. Costing US$90M to produce, the film has so far generated mixed or average Reviews. 

The film opens up with black and white footage of the trenches during WWI where French and Belgian troops have just taken orders to advance on the German line in three hours time when the wind changes direction in their favour, so supposedly allowing them to make the advance undercover of a canopy of gas. The commanding officer of the French and Belgian company (sporting an impressive moustache) gives his final orders to his men saying that many of them will surely die. Then turning around is a young soldier, Poirot (a clean shaven and de-aged Kenneth Branagh) who says that the birds circling overhead change the direction of their flight when the wind changes and that he has been observing them for months, and if they are to succeed in breaching the German line they must go within the next seven or eight minutes. And so they go, and undercover of a canopy of gas they surprise and storm the German line with minimal casualties on their side, their mission a great success against all odds. Until that commanding officer steps on a trip wire which triggers a huge explosion killing him instantly and sending many of his company straight to the nearest field hospital. Sometime later a nurse Katherine (Susannah Fielding) walks up to Poirot's bedside. His head is turned away from her and as she speaks there is clearly a connection between the two. Poirot then turns his head to face her revealing deep shrapnel scars to his lower left face, upper lip and chin, and he says how can you love a man who looks like this? She cradles his hands in hers, kisses his hand, and says, 'you'll just have to grow a moustache'. 

We then fast forward to London, 1937, and as Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh now sporting a full moustache) enters a music club we are greeted by Salome Otterbourne (Sophie Okonedo) a jazz singer and guitarist who is belting out a tune on stage with her band, with her niece and business manager Rosalie Otterbourne (Letitia Wright) handling her fee for the evening's entertainment. On the dance floor going all in are Simon Doyle (Armie Hammer) and his bride to be Jacqueline de Bellefort (Emma Mackey). Arriving at the door amongst a flash of photographers cameras and making a grand entrance is very wealthy business woman Linnet Ridgeway (Gal Gadot), who is a long term school friend of Jacqueline's. Jacqueline can hardly contain herself as she tells Linnet of her new found love, and then introduces her to Simon, saying that they should dance. And they do, and there is clearly a chemistry between them, that Jacqueline can see instantly. All the while Poirot is observing this. 

Six weeks later we find ourselves in a lavish hotel on the banks of the River Nile in Egypt to celebrate the wedding of Simon Doyle . . . . . and Linnet Ridgeway. Among the invited guests are Bouc (Tom Bateman) and his renowned painter mother Euphemia (Annette Bening), Linus Windlesham (Russell Brand) an aristocratic doctor and former fiance to Linnet, Marie Van Schuyler (Jennifer Saunders) Linnet's Godmother and communist convert who has given all her money away, Mrs. Bowers (Dawn French) Marie's nurse, companion and former wealthy business woman who has fallen upon very hard times, Louise Bourget (Rose Leslie) Linnet's maid, and Andrew Katchadourian (Ali Fazal) Linnet's cousin and lawyer. And of course Poirot who was coincidentally holidaying nearby and in a chance meeting with his old friend Bouc at the pyramids, is invited along to join in the celebrations. And who else should rock up just to add insult to injury, but Jacquleine. Also in the gathered line up of guests is Salome and Rosalie, as the latter is an old classmate of Linnet's.

And so after some heated discussions between Simon and Linnet about whether they should abandon their honeymoon because of the unwanted presence of Jacqueline, and Poirot intervening to have a discreet word with Jacqueline too, they all agree that the show must go on. And so Simon arranges, at his wife's expense, to hire out the paddle steamer, the S.S. Karnak, exclusively for their honeymoon and their invited guests to enjoy a leisurely cruise down the Nile taking in the sights, drinking Champagne, enjoying each others company and generally having a good ol' time. The first afternoon and evening go reasonably well as the happy couple and gathered guests all settle in and we get to know them all. 

The S.S. Karnak cruises up to the Temple of Abu Simbel and all passengers alight to view the temple of King Ramesses II and his wife Nefertari from both the outside and within. While the passengers are on shore, Jacqueline boards the Karnak and surprises Simon and Linnet (and not in a good way) upon their return, with her presence.  

Later that evening Simon and Linnet reveal to Poirot that they have made the decision to return home the next day (as was Poirot's earlier suggestion) to get away from Jacqueline and to get on with the lives peacefully, quietly and in private. However, tomorrow never comes, as later that night after most of the guests, including Linnet, have retired for the night, Jacqueline shoots Simon in the knee with a .22 hand gun, after the pair got into a fierce argument. Poirot is busy sleeping through all this commotion - the effects of being on a moving boat and a glass of Champagne knocking him out. Linus Windlesham attends to Simon, while Mrs. Bower attends to Jacqueline and sedates her. The next morning Louise Bourget is delivering breakfast to Linnet, only to find her stone cold dead in her bed with a single bullet wound to the temple. Poirot is woken by the screaming of Louise and goes off to investigate.

What follows over the next 24 hours or so is Poirot's murder investigation into the death of Linnet. Everyone is a suspect and everyone had a motive it seems. Poirot methodically interviews each of the guests in turn and either rules them out or keeps them on his list of prime suspects. In the meantime it is revealed that Bouc and Rosalie are in love, much to his mothers chagrin and disapproval. But it turns out that Poirot was hired by Euphemia to get the full low down on Rosalie and to establish her character and suitability to be the wife of her son. Poirot comes clean in front of Euphemia, Bouc, Rosalie and Salome that his findings of Rosalie are that she is honest, forthright, responsible and trustworthy and should be considered a keeper, but still Euphemia will have none of it, and Rosalie is so angered by Poirot that she calls him all the names under the sun. She storms off and Poirot gives chase. Catching up on the deck, Rosalie notices a body caught up in the paddle of the steamer. Stopping the boat, and retrieving the corpse it is revealed to be that of Louise, who had her throat slit before being thrown overboard, using a very sharp blade - like a surgeon's scalpel, like those belonging to Windlesham. 

With the body count rising, Poirot continues with his interviews, coming down to the final one, that of Bouc, which he conducts in the presence of Simon. Poirot and Bouc go back a long way and are trusted friends, but Poirot has his suspicions about Bouc. In their discussions, just as Bouc is about to reveal a potentially important piece of evidence, he is shot by a single bullet through the throat from behind and up high. He dies instantly where he sat. Poirot gives chase to the unknown assailant and manages to dodge several gun shots aimed directly at him, but is unable to catch the shooter. 

Later that evening with the remaining guests becoming increasingly agitated that Poirot has as yet drawn a blank and with a seemingly ever increasing body count, Poirot locks them all inside the bar saying that that murderer is in the room and he will now reveal who the murderer, or murderers, are. And in a shocking twist, he does, and nails it, leaving five corpses to be stretchered off the boat at the end!

In the closing scene, we fast forward six weeks, and we are back in London at the music club where Poirot first saw Salome play. She is singing, but there are no guests dancing, there is no party atmosphere, and in fact the host passes by Poirot, who is facing away from the camera looking toward the stage, saying that the place is about to close. Poirot turns around revealing his clean shaven face, with the old scars to his upper lip, his chin and his lower left face clearly evident. 

For me 'Death on the Nile' was a bit of a let down. It's certainly lacks the air of mystery and suspense that Branagh's 'Murder on the Orient Express' delivered, despite Branagh's return as the super sleuth detective extraordinaire Hercule Poirot and his once again assembling of an all star cast, however, this film is a notch above the 1978 film in which Peter Ustinov portrayed Poirot, but without much sense of the location in which the story is set. Branagh is clearly having a lot of fun playing Poirot for the second time around, and giving us a glimpse of his own backstory and how his famous moustache came to be. Who knows where he'll take the character if a third film ever gets made. As for the rest of the ensemble crew they are all mostly one dimensional cardboard cut outs most of whom have the motive for seeing off Linnet, but who tread water while flailing around in the Nile like their lives depended on it. The film certainly looks the part, with the Director not scrimping on the production design, CGI wizardry or the sense of place that it offers up, but this film is a film of two distinct halves. The first set on dry land where we are introduced, albeit briefly, to the main characters, and the second on the Nile, leading up to the murders, the hurried suspect interviews and then the rush to the finish line in explaining his suspicions and the ultimate big reveal, which offers up a real surprise. As a final comment I would like to know what happened between 'Murder on the Orient Express' and this film, as Poirot's closing remarks at the end of Orient Express as he is called to his next case he says 'it seems there has been a death on the Nile', yet in between time he has ventured to London, taken on a case for Euphemia and holidayed in Egypt? Continuity be damned!

'Death on the Nile' merits two claps of the Odeon Online clapperboard from a potential five claps.

-Steve, at Odeon Online-

HELLBOY : Tuesday 16th April 2019.

'HELLBOY' which I saw this week is a reboot of a franchise that first launched back in 2004 when Writer and Director Guillermo del Toro first brought us his rendition of the Dark Horse Comics Graphic Novel 'Hellboy' starring Ron Perlman in the title role as an immensely powerful Demon who works for the governmental organisation, the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defence (B.P.R.D.). That initial instalment was generally well received by Critics and took US$100M at the Box Office off the back of a US$66M production budget. Then four years later in 2008 Guillermo del Toro returned to the Directors chair with 'Hellboy II : The Golden Army' with Ron Perlman once again portraying our titular hero. That film was equally well received by Critics and scored US$161M off the back of a US$85 budget. Then in 2009 a third instalment was in development with del Toro returning once more to helm a film titled 'Hellboy III : Dark Worlds'. However, due to funding challenges that film was subsequently scrapped, in favour of this reboot which was released last week. Directed this time around by Neil Marshall whose previous film making credits include 'Dog Soldiers', 'The Descent', 'Centurion' and two episodes of 'Game of Thrones', this film stars David Harbour in the title role, after Ron Perlman refused to return to the franchise without del Toro's involvement. So far this film has recouped US$26M of its US$50M production budget and has received generally negative Reviews.

During World War II, Hellboy as an infant child was summoned from Hell by Nazis looking for an edge in the latter days of the war. He was instead adopted by the US, and raised under the auspices of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defence (an agency founded by Hellboy's adoptive father Trevor Bruttenholm, played by Ian McShane) to help fend off paranormal threats. One such threat comes in the form of an ancient medieval sorceress named Nimue, the Queen of Blood (Milla Jovovich) who was betrayed by her coven, beheaded by King Arthur and dismembered by both Merlin and his King in fifth century England. King Arthur then ordered that the various parts of Nimue's body - her head, her arms, her legs and torso be secured in separate iron crates and taken to various far reaching parts of England never to be unearthed again.

We then fast forward to England via Tijuana where the now adult Hellboy (David Harbour) gets into a wrestling match with a former colleague that has turned Vampire. Hellboy reluctantly kills the Vampire in the ring by impaling him on a post, and in his last dying moments turns back into his human form warning that the apocalypse is coming.

A few weeks later, Hellboy returns to the B.P.R.D HQ in America whereupon he is dispatched to England by his father, and in particular the Osiris Club (an ancient English outfit dedicated to uncovering supernatural mysteries) to hunt down and dispense with three giants who have been running amok across the English countryside. Hellboy joins the giant hunters but is ultimately betrayed by them in an ambush. However, the giants arrive and slaughter the hunters leaving Hellboy to fend off the giants and overthrow each of them, which he does of course using his particular set of skills.

In the meantime, Gruagach (Stephen Graham and Douglas Tait), a hog like beast who has a score to settle with Hellboy seeks advice from Baba Yaga (Emma Tate and Troy James), a one eyed ancient witch who lives in a house propped up by chicken legs, who suggests restoring Nimue to her all powerful former self by reconnecting each of her body parts. Baba Yaga knows of the secret location  of where her head is housed, and once secured the awoken Nimue will reveal after 1500 years where her other body parts are located.

After falling unconscious following his battle with the three giants Hellboy comes around in the apartment of Alice Monaghan (Sasha Lane), whom he shares a connection with since her childhood, when she was kidnapped by fairies and subsequently acquired powerful skills as a medium. Bruttenholm descends upon the apartment with a SWAT Team and reveals that someone has located Nimue's remains and will more than likely find her last piece housed at the Osiris Club. Heading up the SWAT Team is M11 Agent Ben Daimio (Daniel Dae Kim), whom Hellboy now joins forces with, aided by Alice with her very own particular set of skills.

Upon arriving at the Osiris Club, the three find everyone well and truly slaughtered. Alice connects with the lifeless body of the clubs resident seer Lady Hatton (Sophie Okonedo), whose spirit is still present. Her spirit manifested through Alice reveals that Nimue has plans to find a King so that they can together raise the apocalypse. In the corridors of the building Hellboy runs into Gruagach holding onto Nimue's dismembered lower arm. Gruagach escapes however, after Hellboy is distracted by a vision of Nimue appealing to the powerful force that they could be together.

Daimio takes them to M11's headquarters, located deep underground in an old WWII bunker once used by Winston Churchill, and secretly hidden under a fish and chip shop. While Daimio secretly acquires a special bullet to kill Hellboy when the opportunity presents itself, Hellboy has a heated exchange of words with Bruttonholm over his 'adoption' and upbringing. Dissatisfied with the answer, Hellboy leaves but is magically transported to Baba Yaga's house - the one that walks on chicken legs. In exchange for an eye, the ancient witch reveals the location where Nimue plans to restore herself - the site of an ancient oak tree high up on craggy outcrop at Pendle Hill - the very place where she was slain by King Arthur and Merlin centuries ago. Hellboy reneges on the agreement to give up an eye, and Baba Yaga curses him.

At Pendle Hill Nimue has assembled with Gruagach and her coven of witches which she kills all but one. Hellboy, Alice and Daimio make haste for Pendle Hill only to be confronted by an army of the dead rising up to thwart them. Leaving Alice and Daimio to fend off their undead attackers, Hellboy makes haste to the old oak tree, where he is subdued by Nimue. In making her escape after Alice and Daimio arrive, Nimue poisons Alice with a thorn taken from her crown. 

The surviving witch directs the team to Merlin, believing that only he can save her. Finding Merlin hidden deep within a remote coastal cave system, the old wizard is woken from centuries of slumber and cures Alice. He then tells Hellboy that his mother was human and a direct descendant of King Arthur. As such, Merlin (Brian Gleeson) offers him Excalibur, but Hellboy refuses it after seeing a vision of himself using the sword to raise the apocalypse. Nimue meanwhile attacks London with her plague-like powers, and later unleashes all manner of demons to wreak havoc and mayhem across the capital city violently killing many in the process.

The three return to M11 headquarters, where they find everyone dead and Bruttenholm missing. They reach St Paul's Cathedral, where Nimue is in hiding, and to be confronted by Gruagach. Daimio, who earlier revealed to Alice that when he was a soldier deep in some dense jungle territory tracking down a man hunting animal that he was the sole survivor of a were-jaguar attack which left him permanently scarred to his face. Seeing Hellboy and Graugach go head to head, Daimio transforms into his jaguar form and jumps to support Hellboy in the fight. Nimue kills Graugach and then pleads with Hellboy to side with her. 

After he refuses, she sends him crashing down into a hidden crypt, revealing King Arthur's tomb and Excalibur, partially encased in stone. After Nimue kills Bruttenholm, Hellboy pulls Excalibur, causing him to assume his true form. Nimue further appeals to Hellboy, but Alice channels Bruttenholm's spirit, who manifests itself and appeals to Hellboy's inner sense of humanity. Hellboy then decapitates Nimue, sending all the demons and Nimue's head back to the very depths of hell. Hellboy and Bruttenholm exchange their final farewells, and Daimio tosses away the bullet he had manufactured to kill Hellboy. 

Lobster Johnson (Thomas Haden Church) is a vigilante who has a reputation for violence, such as killing mobsters and burning his trademark lobster claw symbol into their foreheads with the palm of his gloved hand. Lobster was there when the Nazi's summonsed the young Hellboy in the closing days of WWII, and helped thwart, together with Trevor Bruttonholm, the Nazi's plan. The ghost of Lobster also appears to Hellboy in a mid credits sequence as he mourns his late father by his graveside comforted by a bottle of his favourite whisky. Watch out too for an end credits scene involving Baba Yaga. 

I have to say that I was underwhelmed by this version of 'Hellboy'. Once you get past the extreme violence, the viscera, the entrails, the blood, guts and gore, the hacked limbs, the gouged eyes and the almost relentless carnage which I guess is all delivered in the context of a mightily pissed off demonic centuries old queen, the storyline here is disjointed, most of the humour fails to land, and ultimately it's all (CGI rendered) style over substance. The film moves along at a frenetic pace from one action set piece to the next giving the viewer hardly time to catch up on the plot with its gaping holes and impossible time lines. David Harbour puts in a convincing performance as does Milla Jovovich and Daniel Dae Kim, but I am left wondering what Ian McShane was thinking, and the CGI and creature effects are mostly delivered well, but those are the only redeeming features in this sub-par offering when compared to del Toro's earlier offerings.

'Hellboy' merits two claps of the Odeon Online clapperboard from a possible five.

-Steve, at Odeon Online-