BATTLESHIP : archive from 13th April 2012

Saw the Blockbuster Season opener last night - 'BATTLESHIP'. It's a loud, proud, in your face gung-ho all action no expense spared American Navy versus the five badass trespassing Aliens ships lured to our distant planet and then stranded here by a freak collision when one ship collides with a communication satellite . . . and then there were four!




You have to see this spectacle on the big screen - the CGI is impressive; the conversion from Hasbro board game to Hollywood actioner is passable as the battle sequences take place out at sea as you would expect, on land and of course in the air. But why are those pesky aliens here and what do they want - this is a question that only the Lord God Almighty knows because there ain't no time for talkin' when the forces of the US Navy, Army and Air Force are wielding their collective cans of 'whoop ass' at them thar pesky varmint aliens!

As those aliens attempt to phone home and muster reinforcements for their ultimate destruction of our small humble planet, the final set piece moves to Pearl Harbour (how fitting!) and would you believe the USS Missouri is very swiftly recommissioned on the spot to do fierce battle and thwart the intergalactic foe.

Liam Neeson adds gravitas as Admiral Shane, Taylor Kitsch provides the muscle as Lieutenant Alex Hopper, Alexander Skarsgard is brother Commander Stone Hopper, and the eye candy is provided by Rhianna (in her first acting role and passable) as Petty Officer Cora 'Weps' Raikes and Brooklyn Decker is Sam who is the love interest for renegade sailor boy Alex! The alien creatures are well realised and the game tie-in works . . . just about! A thumping soundtrack, the Hawaiian backdrop and the immediacy all make for an enjoyable ride. Mix 'Top Gun', 'Transformers' and 'Predator' and you are just about there!

This film cost a massive US$210M to make and brought in for that investment just US$303M. The film picked up three award wins and thirteen nominations, including a Razzie Award for Rhianna as 'Worst Supporting Actor' and four other 'Worst' nominations in those same 2013 Razzie's. Peter Berg Directed who generally has a reasonable touch with wartime action fare, but I guess it just goes to show that with the best high-octane all guns blazing effects and epic budget you still need a half decent believable story to reel the audience in. When there are others out there that have set the benchmark so high, you gotta be on your game - so I guess it's 'Transformers 1 : Battleship 0'.


-Steve, at Odeon Online-